She said something to me that made the light bulb light up bright as ever. In regards to her 2nd marriage, she said “I really hate him, I wish I never have let him into my heart. I have tried breaking up with him in the beginning, But he wouldn’t give up”.

After hearing this, it made me realize that the issue isn’t her ex, the issue is herself. In the past, it seems that every time she let someone into her heart, they left. So that resulted in having commitment issues. She’s afraid to love and let someone else love her for what she’s really worth. She watched her mother go through the same thing, which makes her feel that this is probably how her life is supposed to be. She’s basically afraid of losing loved ones. It seems as if she subconsciously tries to detach by breaking up before she can get hurt again, she distances herself which leads to some attention from her significant other, then there may be a disagreement or an argument with her significant other, she breaks up, she runs away from the problem rather than try to solve it, she leaves because she’s afraid that she may get left behind, she’s afraid that she’ll get a broken heart….so she tries to stay ahead of the “game” and impulse act rather than being secure, mature and in control of her emotions. She’s missing a lot that life has to offer by continuously running away!

She adapts and tries to dig deeper internally trying to find a way out, but she doesn’t realize that the only way out is for her to:

• Let go of the past and learn to take risks and chances
• Forgive herself and forgive her past, only then can she begin to move on
• Accept that even if she failed in the past, it doesn’t mean that she will fail again
• Understand that life is all about learning from our past experiences in hopes of making the present and future experience a happier one
• Stop jeopardizing each new relationship because of her fear of getting hurt or being left alone with a broken heart
• Accept the fails just as much as she can accept the success in other things
• Accept that mistakes and failures will happen, it’s the only way we can learn how to become a better person
• Understand that Life is short and wasting time on the past is taking away time from the present and future
• Understand that God doesn’t give a person more than they can handle
• Know that she is not the only person in this world to experience a difficult obstacle like this
• Appreciate the fact that she was lucky enough to have found love (most people spend their entire life searching for love)
• Become more of an optimist rather than a pessimist (stop looking at what once was, and start looking at what could be)

Now I am quite aware that most of you that is experiencing a similar situation will read this and may say “it’s easier said than done”, but I must let you know that It’s Only As Hard As You Make It And It Will Always Be As Easy As You Allow It To Be!!!

Hold on to what makes you happy, but let go of what makes you hurt!!!

At the end of a year, I think we should all take some time to reflect on the year that just ended. Look back and think of the accomplishments you have achieved, the hearts of others you have touched, what were your selfless acts, how can you do better in the coming year. Look back at the moments you felt love towards another, never forget the people that has touched your heart. Ask yourself, how can you make this new year better than the last for yourself.

Don’t just look at the materialistic things and decide what you’ve purchased and what you want to purchase….but do take a moment and ask yourself…..were you good to each and every person that you crossed paths with? How can you be better or what can you do to show more gratitude? How can you help change one persons life or thoughts for the better? These are more of the things that most people fail to reflect upon.

The coming New Year is a time for us all to clear our minds, get in touch with our inner selves, see our future path clear, plan and accept that there will be life obstacles, set realistic goals and cherish a bit more each and every individual that you cross paths with.

Remember, treating others the way you want to be treated is very hard to do for some, but it never hurts to try. Each of our actions has an impact on another whether it may be good or bad.

So, my message to you is that new years isn’t just a start of a new year, but its a time for you to reflect on your past in hopes  of growing positively as an individual.

May each of you have a Happy New Year filled with an infinite amount of joy and laughter.

There is no way to measure the love that I have for my son. I know it will only get stronger as I watch him grow up and face life the way I have.

The little moments I have with my child is absolutely priceless, the times when he at only 5 yrs old, repeated to me things I have taught him is absolutely priceless. Yesterday as I was putting together a jigsaw puzzle, I made the comment that “this is so hard”, he got next to me to help me and said, “mommy, never give up, just keep trying, that’s how you will get better”. Oh my god, my jaw dropped to know that he actually pays attention to me when I talk to him, he practically repeated word for word what I tell him every time he tries to give up =)

There isn’t anything I won’t do for my son, he is the only person in this world that will always stand by my side no matter what lies ahead of us, and he knows that no matter what, mommy will always be here for him, he knows I’m his safety net!

To my wonderful son:

You have made me so proud of the little person you have become
There isn’t anything that I won’t do for you, you are my heart and joy!

From the moment I felt you touch me inside
I knew we both felt alive
I felt the strong bond we started to build
I waited patiently for you to show your face
I read to you, I sang to you, I talked to you and kept you safe

Then the day came when I got to hold you close
I looked at your little face and saw my little miracle come to life
You held your face against my chest
You felt comfortable in my arms, you were familiar, you knew who I was!
You are the best gift anyone could have ever given me
I held your hands and vowed that I won’t ever let go

I always made silly facial expressions just to hear one beautiful sound
Just to hear the sound of your laugh and giggle
It made my heart smile, you kept me alive
I am so blessed to be able to call you my son

A year has passed, and you began to walk and talk
You ran to me every time you saw me
You always knew how to make the sun shine in our days
I won’t ever forget all that you have done for me
You changed my life for the better, you showed me what life is really worth

Another year has gone by, major changes in our lives occurred
From this point on it was just going to be you and I
You saw my tears and pain and I’m sorry you had to see that
You sat next to me, you held my hands, you hugged me
Your simple actions caused me to realize that it’s time….
It’s time to rebuild a new life for you and I <3

You are now 6 yrs old and I must say….
Looking back at what we’ve been through and what we’ve accomplished
We can honestly say, WE DID IT, you and I…we really did it!!!

I LOVE YOU MY LITTLE JAYDEN <3
You ARE an amazing child!

Truly, Madly, Deeply

When you’re truly madly deeply in love with someone, you tend to give it your all, each love in your life is a different experience. You find yourself willing to do anything and everything for this one person. Sky’s the limit, there isn’t anything that you won’t do. This person is on your mind all day long, you randomly reminisce of sweet precious happy memories when you’re away from this person, you have absolutely nothing but the positives to think about because the positive traits supersede the negatives by far. Keep in mind that no one is perfect, we all have our flaws, but it’s always amazing when one finds that special someone and falls head over heels in love (regardless of their flaws). It doesn’t matter what this person does, you will always forgive them, (to a certain extent). Note: Abuse of any sort, cheating….etc…is just not tolerable!

Making Long Distance Love Work

I have a friend that not only believes but he feels that he’s found his soul mate, the only obstacle is the location of where they reside. He resides in the United States and she resides in South America; they’ve been making this relationship work so far, and it can only get stronger as long as both parties understand and accept the downfall of being in a long distance relationship along with comprehending the long road ahead. Traveling is always available, but the cost of traveling makes it very difficult for them to see each other at any given time hence one of the downfalls of being in a long distance relationship.

• How do you cope with the fact that you’ve found your soul mate but you can’t see him/her at any given moment?
• What do you do when you lay down at night and all you can think about is your love?
• Do you have any idea what it feels like to want your lover to hold you but you know it’s impossible at at that very moment?
• How long do you think you can go on without being able to see the one face you want to see the most?

Giving It Your All

I haven’t ever been in a serious long distance relationship before, so I can only share my opinions and not my advice because I have yet to experience what my friend is going through at this very moment. He is truly fighting with all his power to bring the two of them closer; He’s working so hard to gain the funds that will send him into her arms; He’s been utilizing Skype and other social networks to stay in touch with her; Most men would probably give up, but that only means that they fail to see love from the eyes of a person in True Love. As long as the communication and trust continue to stay alive, all will be well! There are lots of things that can be done to keep a long distance relationship alive, and my friend and his love have been doing it all, I only wish that it remains strong and strengthens until they can be in each others arms each and every day!

My thoughts are that my friend is doing the right thing by being optimistic. He’s continuing to be strong as each day and night goes by, he’s fighting this universe for the well deserved relationship between him and his true love. He’s doing what his heart tells him to do regardless of what anyone else says. He listens to the perspective of others, but in the end, he will always follow his heart, which is one thing we all admire!

Showing Support

We’ve all heard or read about love stories like this, and we all feel the pain and achy hearts of the lovers at stake, so let’s just show our support by sharing thoughts that can shed some light on his situation. Great words of wisdom is always helpful to us all when we’re in tough situations, having support from friends and readers is what motivates us all, at times it helps us see things clearly or from a perspective we didn’t imagine. So don’t be shy, share your thoughts =)

Regardless I would love for his story to be heard, I want the universe to adjust itself in a way that will bring them together. I hope and only wish that I can shake her hand or hug her and tell her how lucky she is to have found a man that will do anything and everything for the love he shares with her.

My friend wrote, produced and sang a song for her, he’s an artist, please check out his video and show your support.

You can also help bring him and his love closer together by purchasing his song on itunes.

iTunes

Thank you to all my readers, I really appreciate your loyalty more than you can imagine!

I Love you for….

• The way you always find a new way to “WoW” me
• The way you never let my hands go
• The way you can always make me laugh at any given moment
• The way you are spontaneous with me and down for whatever
• The way you are not embarrassed to say or do anything in front of me
• How you watch chick flicks with me
• They way you look at me sometimes as if you know what I’m thinking
• The silly inside jokes that we have with each other
• The way you’ve become my personal IT guy =)
• The way you love me thru my emotional ups and downs
• The way a thought of you makes my heart smile
• The way you know my weaknesses
• The way you motivate and inspire me
• All the little things you do to make me happy and keep a smile on my face
• The way we can be goofy with each other
• The way we get along so well <3

All the attention and support you show my blogs =)

We all tend to always pay attention and look at the things that our men don’t do rather than looking at the things that they do for us. When you sit back and really analyze it, you would realize that your man does all the things that actually does and is supposed to make you happy, you may not be happy because you obviously take him for granted. Here are a few questions to ask yourself, its simple but a ot of women tend to overlook the non relationship things that our men do for us….

• Who is the one person you would call if you needed help?
• Who is the one person you feel safe with when he hugs you?
• Who will give you his jacket when you’re cold?
• Who is the one person that will make sure you are comfortable where ever you go?
• Who will fix anything that is broken in your home?
• Who tries his best to make sure you are happy at all times?
• Who will defend you if someone tries to hurt you?

Fake-Sters
Women are guilty just as much as men are when it comes to being someone you’re not in the beginning of a relationship. We as women will do the things that we think will impress him, we want him to love us, we want him to know that he made the right choice by being with us. Now after we realize that he’s actually in love with us, some women will tend to let this fade and slowly we find ourselves being guilty of not performing the wonderful things we did in the beginning. My advice to women, no matter what happens, please maintain that special place in your heart to continue to please your man. Don’t let the days go by with you doing less and less. He will love you no matter what as long as you maintain the same personality that he fell in love with. Granted we will have our moments, but that’s when our men will need to understand the moods we experience at random moments and just provide comfort.

The Little Things That Counts The Most
Women, you have no idea how much the little things count the most. Some things as little as being sexually active with your man at random moments, surprising him by dressing up in your sexy lingerie, cooking dinner, giving him a massage after a long day of work, leaving him special messages, texting him good morning and sending him lovey dovey messages, etc. Not only that, the little things that our men does for us should not go unnoticed; All the random foot massages they give us, the way they talk to us, the attention they give us when we need it, the fact that they will put their friends on hold just to spend a little quality time with us, the way he looks at you in your eyes, the way he listens to you when you’re having a breakdown, they support he gives, the way he holds your hand when you’re together, the way he cuddles with you at night; don’t let these simple things go unnoticed! Men show their love in a completely different way than women do, and we as human beings need to understand that and adjust our mentalities to find that so close to perfect median.

If He Doesn’t, That Doesn’t Mean That You Shouldn’t
If he doesn’t do something special for you exactly when you need it, that doesn’t mean that you should hold it against him and not do something special for him. Some men just aren’t very good with hints, so don’t play games with each other, be open and communicate on each others likes and dislikes. The same rule applies as my previous blog….if your man doesn’t hold your hand while you’re together, then don’t get angry, there is nothing wrong with you taking the initiative and holding his hand, after all, you can’t expect a man to be a mind reader. Don’t let the little things get in your way of pursuing what could be a wonderful long term healthy relationship. If he isn’t doing something you expected, don’t assume that he doesn’t care or doesn’t love you, he just may not even be aware of your current needs, most men aren’t. They’ll get the big picture but you have to help them get there, its a walk for both parties to engage in.

If We Do Then He Will
It doesn’t matter how much we do for our man, they are not the type of creatures to show acknowledgment every day like we do and we can’t expect it, it’s just they way they were built. Women, do understand that men also take mental notes, they are quite aware of how great we are, they are aware of all the sacrifices we make for them, they are aware of all the wonderful things we do for them, and deep down inside, we are aware that they see us for who we really are, but the thing that we fail to remember….is that they will sporadically show their appreciation versus showing it daily. This is a mistake we all make, we need to not tell our men what to do and how to react, we need to just have the mindset to be the wonderful person he knows with no expectations and just let him act on his own. It will pay off in the end as long as we don’t apply pressure to the relationship. Men tend to run away as far as they can once the sense pressure!

Understand that Men are very different from Women, we can’t expect them to treat us the exact way we treat them when it comes to Love and Attention, don’t ever forget that they are very sporadic in this department!!!

Men of all ages, men that are old enough to be in a relationship, please read on….You must and always must remember that you shouldn’t ever take your girlfriend or wife for granted; after all she is the first one that will always be there for you in your desperate time of need. A woman’s heart is such a precious thing, it’s so easy to gain and just as easy to lose. Know that if your girlfriend or wife approaches you with what she feels isn’t working in your relationship, please see this as her cry to help you both, don’t see it as if she’s attacking you with all the negative things, relationships are all trial by error and you have to work at it to keep it healthy, strong and alive.

• Who will be willing to support you if you needed help?
• Who is the one person that will stroke your manly ego when you need it the most?
• Who will be there to support you during your stressful moments?
• Who’s the first person that would massage you when you’re in pain?
• Who will be there to bring you medicine and soup when you’re sick
• Who will do anything you request just because she knows it will make you happy?
• Who will always want to make love to you at any given time?
• When you’re down and out, who will be there to help you get back on your feet?
• When you have your angry moments, who is the one person that will stand there and let you vent at her, then will always be there to give you a hug afterward?
• Who is the one person that will always stand by your side?

The Fake-sters
Women at one time or another have been with someone that’s fake….So we meet a guy, and he’s absolutely the best person to you ever; in your eyes he’s Mr. Right; he’s the hottest guy to you; he does all the right things and says all the right things that just sweeps you off your feet. The personality he shows you is flawless, shortly after that, his true colors come out, and you’re left standing there wondering what happened to the man I fell in love with, well now you have a choice, do you accept this person for who he really is, or do you hold on to the man he used to be in the beginning in hopes that he will soon sweep you off your feet again? This is such a difficult decision!

Men, we understand that you will want to flatter us, but you have to understand that what ever you do in the beginning of a relationship is pretty much what we would automatically expect to get if we pursue a long term relationship with you. So please, maintain it, continuously make us feel pretty and sexy like you did in the beginning, you don’t need you to spend hundreds of dollars on us, but a single rose, or a card or a sweet note on a post it would make us smile from ear to ear and would also make this warm feeling from our heart rush throughout our body until we’re weak in the knees. And think about it, to make us smile and feel this happiness only cost you a few minutes of your time! It’s really not a lot to ask for! We understand that people change, and we must learn to adjust to each others changing ways, but don’t ever forget that we are delicate flowers inside and out, and you must provide your rays of sunshine upon us.

The Little Things That Mean The Most
We can’t stress this enough, but to women, the little things that you do is what means the absolute most to us. Please don’t stop giving us morning hugs and kisses, if you can’t see us every morning, then don’t stop sending us the sweet good morning text messages or morning phone calls. And same goes for night time, there’s nothing better than having the man you love call you or hold you and tell you he loves you right before you go to bed. Men, please take the initiative and to this for that special woman in your life. We are all strong, independent and confident women, we don’t need a man in our lives but we do choose to want one, and do know that we can be happy by ourselves, but its just something that escalates the happiness to a different level when a man showers us with his love and attention. Somehow it tends to give us motivation to do more for the relationship! Don’t forget to hold our hand, you may not realize it but we actually want this, chemistry sparks with the touch from our man, whether it’s on the sofa watching a movie, in public or anywhere you can think of, once you make that effort to touch us we immediately feel that internal chemistry.

Your Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Whether you know it or not, women always have their antennas up, we always notice your actions, and I hate to say it, but we tend to take mental notes and most likely will discuss it with you at a later time. We are only humans and when you analyze it, it really doesn’t take a lot to make us happy. Please…

• Take out the trash if you see it, don’t wait for us to ask for your help
• Clean up after yourself
• Voluntarily wash our car, and maybe even get our oil changes done
• Lift the heavy things for us, don’t make us struggle with it
• Be there for us emotionally, lend us your ear, listen and understand
• Don’t try to solve our problems, we just want to talk, we go to our girlfriends if we need an issue to be resolved, we come to you for just compassion and comfort
• Don’t flirt with other girls, it’s disrespectful to us
• If there is something that you do is really bothering us, please try your best to fix it
• Make us feel safe and secure, always let us know that you will be there
• Don’t make us feel like we’re just your friend or buddy, you must do or say things that lets us know we are spoken for by you, after all, we claim you all the time when other men approach us
• Let us know that we are the only ones you have eyes for

If You Do Then We Do
One of the most important things is that men don’t realize that once you start taking us for granted and we notice that, we tend to lose that chemistry we once felt for you, we begin to build that wall around our heart, our personality begins to change slowly, trust, security and communication becomes an issue, all because we have the feeling that you are no longer interested in us or you may soon break our heart or that you just don’t want to make an effort because maybe we are not worth it anymore. These feelings can be all false, but it’s just what our heart feels because we noticed that you just don’t make an effort to do the things you used to do for us. In order for a woman to perform her duties as a girlfriend or a wife, you as the Man must do the things that it takes to keep a smile on our face. If you continue to flatter us, it will always want to make us do more for you, we will most likely do the things you love the most. Its a win win, if you take care of us…

• You’ll get alone time to watch the game with your male friends without us interrupting
• We’ll want to show our appreciation in the bedroom and maybe even try new things =)
• Our sexual appetite will increase
• We’ll want to cook more of your favorite foods
• We’ll make a stronger effort to keep you happy all because we’re aware that you love us so much and that you are willing to do all the little things that make us smile =)
• We won’t have the need to discuss our relationship (I’m aware, this is a good thing for men)
• We will give you massages after your long day of work
• We will want to spend quality time with you doing more of what you prefer
• Assuring us that you will always be there for us, will allow us to give you the space you need, in other words, we won’t feel the need to smother you
• As long as you continue to show us attention or letting us know that you’ve put us on a pedal-stool with your actions, we won’t have any complaints, because we will have the feeling of security
• Listen to us when we’re in a bad mood, understand that women experience a lot more emotional roller coasters than men do, we go through a lot more internally than you can imagine, just hold us during moments like this (trust me it works)
• If you haven’t heard from us, don’t assume that you’re not on our mind, call or reach out to us, it lets us know that we’re on your mind

If You Don’t Then We Don’t
If you don’t take initiative to do the little things that mean the most to us such as making us feel sexy, beautiful, keeping a smile on our face, taking us on a date, letting us know that we are the only woman on your mind, then this is where the relationship may start to fall apart. The most a woman can do is once she notices this, she’ll bring it to your attention, so pretty much she puts the ball in your court and it’s all up to you which path your takes. A woman can only take so much, and we all know what we want and like. Now we don’t expect you to do this every single day forever but we do expect it more than you think. So in other words, if you don’t don’t maintain these gestures, then it really slows down our actions towards you…

• We tend to put up a wall around our heart and slowly build resentment
• We lose the need to communicate with you
• We won’t have motivation to make you happy, if we see that you’re not trying and it’s a continuous effort on our part, we tend to get tired and lose motivation
• We need to feel that chemistry when making love, and if you don’t keep a smile on our face and heart, then we won’t feel the need to perform 100% behind closed doors
• We lose the motivation to do random things with you like surprise you with gifts, or special meals, etc.
• We won’t be willing to spice up our sex life with you if we feel that is the only connection we have with you
• If you don’t listen to us when we’re in a sad or upset mood, then we slowly stop talking to you, and now you’ve caused your girlfriend or wife to turn to others for comfort, when in reality, we should feel comfortable to talk to to the one person we love the most

Men, all I ask is that you try your best and comprehend women a bit deeper than usual. Don’t ever forget that we are Strong Independent Confident Women and we can carry our own weight in every way possible, but there are moments when we want to feel loved and cared for by a man, we want to feel like your Queen, your one and only, we just love to be loved! We don’t want to feel like your buddy, we have enough buddies in our lives, we treat you how we want to be treated, So please PAY ATTENTION AND GIVE ATTENTION WHERE IT’S NEEDED TO YOUR ONE AND ONLY GIRLFRIEND OR YOUR WIFE, this can save your relationship, it can flip it to the positive and you both can work towards a happy healthy relationship together.

It isn’t ever too late to change things for the better, learn from past experiences and love like you’re in love for the first time ever!!!

It can be anything at all, from A-Z, from wishing for a new pencil to wishing for a new career, wishes for relationships to marriages, it can be negative or positive…etc. Don’t be afraid or shy to share, you can respond as an anonymous wisher if you’d like =)

• What do you want that you don’t have?
• What goals or accomplishments are you wishing you can achieve?
• Who do you want to come back into your life?
• Do you wish for your favorite sports team to win?
• Do you wish for others, what and who do you wish for?

You tell me you want to be free
You hit my heart with a rock and sunk it to the bottom of the sea
You can’t fight this evil feeling that took over your soul
You’re so confused and lost in this world
You won’t let me help you find your way
Now, losing you is the price…..I’ll…..pay

You made a mistake
And it caused my heart to break
Your news brought shivers down my spine
As I felt my heart separate by a crooked line
Please forgive me for not understanding
As I was focusing on just standing

You said I don’t deserve you
I said I do
You told me I deserve more than you can offer
I said I’ve already got all I need and I want no other
You feel awful for shattering my heart
I said don’t worry, let’s just see it as a fresh new start

I will forgive you
Because you have been true
With all my power I try, but this I can’t deny
Each and every time we part, I hide my pain with a smile
I try to appear as being fine
But deep within I don’t know how to accept that you’re no longer mine

Thank you for creating memories with me, I do forgive you my love
Always remember what we had and what we could have had
For I will love you and remember you till the end

“I try to say good-bye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it’s clear
My world crumbles when you are not near”

I Love You

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, ‘I love you’, mean it.
5. When you say, ‘I’m sorry’, look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone’s dream. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don’t judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”.
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Say ‘bless you’ when you hear someone sneeze.
16. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson!
17. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
18. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
20. Smile when picking up the phone.. The caller will hear it in your voice.
21. Spend some time alone.