You tell me you want to be free
You hit my heart with a rock and sunk it to the bottom of the sea
You can’t fight this evil feeling that took over your soul
You’re so confused and lost in this world
You won’t let me help you find your way
Now, losing you is the price…..I’ll…..pay

You made a mistake
And it caused my heart to break
Your news brought shivers down my spine
As I felt my heart separate by a crooked line
Please forgive me for not understanding
As I was focusing on just standing

You said I don’t deserve you
I said I do
You told me I deserve more than you can offer
I said I’ve already got all I need and I want no other
You feel awful for shattering my heart
I said don’t worry, let’s just see it as a fresh new start

I will forgive you
Because you have been true
With all my power I try, but this I can’t deny
Each and every time we part, I hide my pain with a smile
I try to appear as being fine
But deep within I don’t know how to accept that you’re no longer mine

Thank you for creating memories with me, I do forgive you my love
Always remember what we had and what we could have had
For I will love you and remember you till the end

“I try to say good-bye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it’s clear
My world crumbles when you are not near”

I Love You

With that being said, Death has popped into my mind a few times, instead of trying to avoid the thought, I’m now somehow planning and preparing my life for it….I wonder if I’ll be missed? What will I be remembered for? Have you ever thought about that? When my time comes, I wonder…how will it happen, what’s going to happen to my house, my son, my family, everything and everyone that I leave behind? I hope I’m right when I say this, but I can only anticipate that my friends and family will remember me as:

A Person….

• That always had a smile on her face no matter how much stress, emotional pain or physical pain was being held inside
• Who never held back, always expressed her thoughts and opinions
• Who always provided advice when needed on any subject matter
• Who for some reason always had an answer
• That was not selfish, always a giver
• Who always put others first
• That was just filled with Joy, Laughter, happiness and Lots of LOVE
• That always gave others the benefit of the doubt
• That was trustworthy, loyal and faithful in every way possible
• Who always puts herself in the shoes of others in order to grasp a better understanding of what another is experiencing (enjoys looking at different point of views)
• Who can be spontaneous and at the same time down to earth
• Who is Independent, strong willed, possessed a terrible willpower towards food
• A person who doesn’t have a problem being blunt when necessary
• And the one thing I think I’ll be best remembered for is being such an OPTIMISTIC person

Wow, that was a mouthful…but I truly believe that whomever I leave behind when my time has come, will remember me as the person who had all the characteristics listed above. I want to be loved, I want to feel that I will be missed if I didn’t exist anymore, but then again…On the other hand, I’m not sure if I want my loved ones missing me so much…I say this only because I know what it feels like to miss someone you love, and it’s a very sad awful feeling, and the last thing I want to do is cause anyone sadness. I would much rather have friends and family celebrate my death rather than mourn my death. I would prefer to have music and people being happy (like a party) and just having a good time being in the same area with my body until I disappear for good. I want others to be able to say, she was a wonderful person and I’m so lucky that she was part of my life VERSUS I’m going to miss her so much, I don’t know what I’m going to do, I can’t stop crying, I can’t help but to feel guilty that I didn’t call her when I should have, now it’s too late…and so on! I don’t like negative thoughts so therefore, please do not be a pessimist at my funeral =) I live my life to the fullest, I try my best to make others happy, I treat others the way I want to be treated, so this is why I don’t want sadness when my time comes. I want to know that the tears would be happy tears; I want to know that you will remember all the times I’ve put a smile on your face and made you laugh…

I have some suggestions for each and every one of you…LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST, ALWAYS GIVE YOUR 110%, THIS WAY WHEN YOU LOOK BACK, YOU WON’T HAVE ANY REGRETS BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU’VE DONE ALL YOU CAN. But if you do have any regrets, understand that the past is the past and no matter what you do or say, you can’t go back, all that you can do is accept it, move on and learn from your mistake to prevent future mistakes; don’t be bitter to each other; don’t hold grudges, it’s pointless to hold onto hate and anger towards someone; when you fall in love, love hard, not everyone is lucky enough to find a true love in this world, so cherish and embrace it as much as you can; don’t hold back your feelings and emotions, share it with the one you love or deeply care for, trust me, there’s always a satisfying feeling when you communicate your thoughts with someone who cares, it’s always great to hear the perspective of another; try putting yourself in the other person’s shoes before you judge; learn to appreciate what you have in your life right now rather than what you had, could have had; surround yourself with positive people, after all, you are who you hang out with; bring laughter into your life as much as you can, I’m the type of person that will laugh out loud by myself if a funny thought popped in my head; don’t care what others think about you, just care about what you think of yourself; show appreciation to others more often, don’t take anyone for granted; take more pictures of yourself with friends and family, pictures never fail, it always brings a smile to the face; remember, tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us, so act today as if tomorrow doesn’t exist; make time for the ones you love and care for, even if it’s 2 mins, any-time is better than no-time; and remember and always remember to keep a smile on your face =)

Life is such a strange thing, one day you’re here and the next day you’re gone. I hope my perspective on life helps you see things from a different point of view, if we all lived like this, the world would be a much better place.

Will you be missed when your time has come?

1. Will you be remembered as an optimist or a pessimist?
2. What about your personality: what will others remember about you if you were to leave us all today?
3. What would you like others to remember about you?
4. Right now at this very moment, if you knew you won’t be with us tomorrow, will you have any regrets about anything in your present life?
5. Who do you think your death will affect the most?

“Once I get this new job, I’ll be happy”
“Once my divorce is finalized, …”
“Once I purchase a new car, …”
“Once I move into this new house, …”
“Once I’m in a loving relationship, …”
“Once I lose 10 lbs, …”

Well I’ve come to realize that after all those obstacles have been accomplished, I was still unhappy. I failed to comprehend that those materialistic items and accomplishments is not what my inner happiness needed; all that was needed…was for me to reach deep within, realize, and accept that I had everything needed to be happy, such as:

• Having a family
• Friends
• A home
• A job
• Food
• Clothes
• Health

This list can also go on forever…the basic necessities are the things that make us happy and we all don’t know how to acknowledge it each and every singe day! Instead, we tend to focus on the things we want and the things we don’t have rather than focusing on what we’ve already accomplished or what we already have.

Our hunger of wanting “more”, in hopes that being better off financially, materialistically and physically all play a huge role in covering or blinding our sight, from what lies right in front of us…True happiness is easily overlooked!!!

My suggestion in finding true happiness from deep within all starts from the moment you open your eyes each morning, the first thing you should do is smile, then follow by stretching out your arms and legs as far as you can. By doing this, you’ve now set the mood for you day to come, nothing can irritate you at this very moment. Keep a smile on your face and just when things seem to not be happening as planned, it helps you mentally handle each situation in a more calm and rational way. For instance, if you were to lock yourself out of your house, instead of beating yourself up, just smile and laugh it off, by doing this, you can now focus clearly and calmly on your next approach in solving this matter. You suddenly begin to think of someone you can call that may have a spare key, or you decide to call a locksmith…what ever your decision, at least you are conscious of your situation and handling it in a sane and mature way.

We should all take a step back and realize what we have rather than what we don’t have!

• Accept and acknowledge all that you have right NOW!
• Be happy for yourself!
• Set realistic goals!
• Smile at everyone that your path may cross on a daily basis!
• Realize how lucky you are to have your family!
• Realize how much someone else may depend on you!
• Not everyone can afford a place to call home, be happy that you’re able to!
• Be grateful that you have a job!
• Be grateful that you have people in your life that care for you!

These are just a few that immediately comes to my mind, but as you read them, I’m sure that others will come to your mind as well. We are all so different in so many ways, especially our perspectives, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. We should all do what ever it may be that keeps that smile in our hearts…follow your passion, live in the moment, plan for the future, do what ever you feel is fit at each moment. Being different is what makes this world such an interesting place to live. Don’t live in the shadow of your own conscience, erase the darkness, bring light back into your life, I did and this is why I wanted to share my thoughts!

Do your part in finding your true happiness, it is contagious and you must spread it as much as you can!

Music can be anyone’s best friend; IT CAN…

• Relax your mind, body and soul
• Get you through the difficult moments that life offers
• Music can guide you onto your desired path
• Cause you to laugh, cry and smile for absolutely no reason
• Helps you reminisce about moments in your past, whether it’s positive or negative
• Provide the energy/boost you may need when your spirit is down
• Relieve your day-to-day stress
• Help you reach deep within and find the inner strength that you need

Personally, music puts a smile on my face when I need it, and it also helps me bring the tears out when I’m emotionally down. I’m one that if I feel sad for what ever reason it may be, I usually don’t like to hold my tears hostage, I actually listen to soft, sad and even happy love songs, this helps my tears flow a bit easier. Once I’ve had my moment and my eyes are tear free, my mind feels a bit lighter. I feel better emotionally and I’m able to carry on with my day. I find that when I retain my tears, I tend to release the “sad” vibe, and others tend to notice; so with that being said, my therapy is to spend time alone with the right type of music. If you haven’t tried it, you should!!!!

Have you ever heard a song that was popular years ago? Well till this day, there are so many songs that make me reminisce. Its mind refreshing, I begin to remember that particular time in my life, certain things I was doing, family/friends I spent time with, it just brings back the exact feeling I felt years ago, It puts a smile on my face if it was a happy time in my life or it may even make me sad depending on what my life obstacle was at that particular time.

Listening to music…

• While you’re working out – Gives you the adrenaline rush you need for a great workout
• While at the office – Helps you to block out distractions and focus on your work
• While walking at the park – Puts you in a zone that clears your mind
• While your feeling sad – Helps you get the tears flowing and rejuvenate your soul
• When you’re happy – Makes you even more happier and relaxed, it lifts your spirit

I could go on, but we all know the effect that music has on us and we are all different, so I would love for you all to share with me the effect that music has on you!!!

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, ‘I love you’, mean it.
5. When you say, ‘I’m sorry’, look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone’s dream. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don’t judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”.
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Say ‘bless you’ when you hear someone sneeze.
16. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson!
17. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
18. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
20. Smile when picking up the phone.. The caller will hear it in your voice.
21. Spend some time alone.

Having mutual respect in a relationship is a very easy task to master if the mutual trust is evident. Respect each other in every way possible when it comes to space; It doesn’t matter how long a couple has been together, giving each other space is the key to maintaining a healthy relationship; Without space, the feeling of invasion surfaces, which CAN eventually lead to stress. And when I suggest “space”, I don’t mean days or weeks, it just may be a few hours of doing something by your self or with your friends, or just time alone away from your partner; You don’t have to do everything together just because you are a couple, you can be in a relationship and still be independent to a certain extent.

Respect each other:

• Verbally - choose your words wisely, I don’t care what anyone says, my opinion is that words do HURT when it comes for someone you love and care for!
• Emotionally – show consideration of the feelings and emotions of your partner, be happy together, be supportive of each other, laugh together, cry together, disagree with each other or even agree to disagree; It doesn’t matter what the situation may be, all that matters is the way it is handled, hopefully you’re a big enough person to handle any situation in a mature manner.

Love

If you’re in love, congratulations on finding someone that has stolen your heart. There aren’t very many people out there that can say the same thing. Keeping the love alive is part of having a happy healthy relationship; Love will always need an effort to be made from both partners. It is just as easy to fall out of love, as it is to fall in love.

• Remind each other often why you fell in love
• Show how much you appreciate your lover by saying it or acting upon it
• Do things that help keep the chemistry alive
• Be intimate with each other, doing this at random moments is always a great way to feel that excitement and change your normal routine
• Greet each other each morning, and say “sweet dreams” at night
• Kiss each other as you part each day, and kiss each other when you reunite
• Do not go to bed mad at each other, life is too short to hold grudges!

Guidelines to a Happy Healthy Relationship (1 of 2)

Communication is a major factor in a healthy relationship. Be able to laugh with each other, smile for no reason and at times, even cry with each other. Make each other comfortable to the point where you’re able to discuss anything and everything with each other in confidence. Communication has saved a lot of relationships; being able to discuss your emotions, worries, stress-related issues, work, life issues…etc…with the one person that you know will always be there in your time of need, is an indescribable feeling.

Honesty

Being honest with each other is one factor that plays a positive role in a successful relationship. It’s a foundation for mutual trust, openness and understanding. It is difficult to be in a relationship with a person that withholds information that’s critical to that relationship. This may occur because of the forces that keep you from telling the truth because you fear what the other person may think or how they would feel, well if you let your fear control you, this may cause the trust your significant other has in you to weaken. If you are honest with yourself and in your relationship, it is definitely a trait that will strengthen your relationship. Always, Always Be Honest! Its great for the soul.

Mutual Trust

Mutual trust is something that is easy to give each other in the beginning of a relationship. It can also be easy to keep, but as soon as you make the decision to not be honest in your relationship, that’s when the trust starts to dissolve and any relationship can head for a dead end in a heartbeat. It is very hard to trust completely in someone, but when you do, it brings joy, comfort and warmth to your heart. The easiest way that I can suggest in keeping trust alive in your relationship is to constantly remind yourself that you are treating your significant other the way you want to be treated. If there is ever a moment where you feel that you can’t trust your significant other, this is when you open the lines of communication and be honest with each other, it can make or break your relationship.

Give/Receive/Compromise/Forgive

Learn how to give, receive, compromise and forgive. These are really not as difficult as you may think. Give whenever or wherever you see an opportunity; learn how to receive, if someone wants to give you something or do something special for you, learn how to say thank you and accept it; knowing how to compromise with each other is a trait that will only benefit your relationship increasing its strength; sometimes its easier said than done, but being able to forgive someone is the best thing you can do for that person at that particular time. Knowing how to communicate, trusting and being honest with each other will make forgiving each other easier to do. It’s not worth it to hold grudges, life is too short to go to bed mad at each other, don’t spend your time being angry over tedious things, it’s simply not worth it when you can be spending time laughing and creating great memories…Just forgive and move on…become a stronger couple and stronger individuals.

Guidelines to a Happy Healthy Relationship (2 of 2)

Approximately 3 years ago from today, my marriage came to an end; I am now a divorced single mother of a 4 yr old. Everything happens for a reason and I am happy as ever now than I was then; but it took some time for me to get to this point. I never knew what I was missing until my entire world caved in and I had to build it back up by myself from ground zero.

After my divorce, I slipped into a depression stage, what got me out of that was my son, I noticed that he started to sense and adapt to my depression (at the time he was only 1), that’s when I had to snap out of it, trust me its a lot easier said than done! After a few months went by, I realized that my ex-husband had truly killed my self-esteem, its not all his fault; I am at blame as well for allowing another human being to make me think and feel any less of myself. The following are some things that made me realize how low my self-esteem was:

• I didn’t feel beautiful inside and out
• I didn’t feel sexy at all
• I lost my confidence
• I became very insecure about my body/physical appearance
• I felt the need to seclude myself from social gatherings
• I was afraid of being judged negatively
• I felt that everything I did wasn’t good enough
• I had no friends
• I didn’t know what it felt like to be appreciated
• I didn’t know what it felt like to be complimented
• I didn’t believe that I would be good enough for anyone else
• I felt lonely
• I didn’t know how to accept others in my life
• I hated what I saw in the mirror

After I realized that I was in pretty bad shape emotionally, I gathered my inner strength and decided to get my life back, I didn’t have any friends that I could talk to or even hang out with. So this is what I did….

• I created a MySpace account (I know, lame huh, but it worked)
• I slowly reunited with old friends that I went to High School with
• I started to meet new people, which eventually turned into great online friends
• I noticed that I had people in my life now (not including family)
• I kept myself busy with my friends
• I began to focus on my son and myself
• I started to actually attend social gatherings
• I learned how to accept compliments from others
• I noticed that I began to smile a lot more
• I spent time with myself doing what I wanted to do
• I took a trip out of state and visited a family member
• I went to bed with a smile
• I woke up with a smile
• I began to notice what I had in my life rather than what I didn’t have
• I bought new things that made my son and myself happy
• I started to write anything that came to my mind whether it was happy or sad thoughts
• I learned how to block out the negative thoughts and focus on the positive
• I am today a much more optimistic person than I was then
• I learned how to accept another person wanting to do something nice for me

I know these probably seem like really tedious things to do and you may not believe that this will work because it’s a lot easier said than done, but believe me, this is what worked for me. Everyone is different and I understand if you can’t relate or see my perspective, but if you feel that you do have low-self esteem, my advice is to at least try it, what have you got to lose, right?

If there are any questions that you may have and would like an opinion or advice on, please don’t hesitate to ask and I’ll add it to the list above =)

Have you ever had the feeling that you fell off the path you were once on because of another? If this has happened to you, understand that it’s not your fault and this does happen unintentionally to many people, hence the saying “Love is Blind”….

You’ve allowed this person into every part of your life, it was something that just happened, at that time you had no control over your emotions, you went with the flow and it turned into love <3 that immediately resulted in a break-up. You felt nothing but confusion, anger, betrayal, cheated on, lied to, you felt like the dirt he/she walked on, you felt as if you didn’t matter, all that moments you shared in past didn’t matter, your world came to a halt, you started to feel resentment and hatred started to surface. Now at the time, you couldn’t control the way you felt, all of these emotions most likely don’t apply to this person’s character, but the responses and interactions you’ve had since the breakup is what brought these feelings out. These are all feelings that you try your best not reveal towards others because honestly you know the truth, and the truth is that you’re allowing your anger to take control.

Not only were you pushed off your path but also your entire personality may have started to change. I would suggest grabbing a notepad and begin to list of all your emotions. At times, writing is a great therapy to heal the mind, heart and soul. Sometimes you’re so overwhelmed mentally, writing it all down helps you clear some mental space. Reading what you have written at times will also help you realize what you may be doing wrong and shed some light on your path. At times, we all face difficult relationship obstacles, these are some emotions that you may have experienced or felt internally at the time:

• Assurance was given that he/she wanted a relationship
• He/she swept you off your feet
• You allowed him/her into every part of my life
• You gave your 100% trust
• You invested time
• He/she has turned into a cold-hearted person that you no longer know
• You felt that emotional connection then and still feel it now
• He/she wasn’t honest and upfront about emotions 100% of the time
• At times you felt as if you were taken for granted
• You start feeling resentment towards him/her
• He/she says you have every quality that a person looks for
• You fell for someone that has the heart to treat another human being this way
• You become indecisive about everything
• You’re broken-hearted
• He/she has feelings for you but chose to ignore it
• You’ve been fighting for something that was never yours
• You cried for someone that you don’t even know anymore
• You put yourself through this for someone that doesn’t deserve your tears
• You blame yourself for everything that went wrong…when in reality it takes 2

Emotionally this person has made you so angry inside that you had to seclude yourself from the world, don’t get me wrong, friends are there whenever you need an ear or a shoulder, but at times, you just weren’t ready to be socializing and meeting new friends. Build up that strength, go out with your friends, dance, socialize and have a good time. At the end of the night, you may find yourself thinking less and less of the person that broke your heart in the first place. Sometimes being with friends is the best therapy, but you have to be emotionally ready to drag yourself into the eyes of the public. There are other fishes in the sea and some of them deserve your love, attention, all that you have to give and the joy that you can bring into their life. On another note, you deserve someone that will accept you just the way you are, enjoy your company, respect your feelings towards trust, loyalty and honestly.

I’m a firm believer of Karma; I treat others the way I want to be treated. I usually give everyone the benefit of the doubt and maybe that’s my flaw…the fact that I trust in others a lot….I trust that they won’t hurt me, I trust that whatever they say to me is true and I never for a split second believe that they would ever deceive.

Things aren’t always the way it seems, people change, sometimes they change for the better and sometimes they change for the worse, but everyone is in control of their choices. I have made the choice to get back on that right path, forgive him for all that he put me through, forgive myself for all that I’ve put myself through and move on with my life. In short, no man is worth a woman’s tears…

I have always and will forever love this song:
Alicia Keys “A Woman’s Worth”

“If you treat me fairly, I’ll give you my goods…Treat you like a real woman should. Baby, I know you’re worth it. If you never play me, promise not to bluff. I’ll hold you down when it gets rough cause baby, I know you’re worth it”

“She rolls the mile; makes you smile, all the while being true; Don’t take for granted the passions that she has for you; you will lose, if you choose, to refuse to put her first; She will if she can find a man who knows her worth!”