Have you ever experienced any of the following:

• A past relationship that is impacting your existing relationship or may impact a future relationship
• Scared to love again, wonder if your heart can ever love again
• You’ve found another person that’s worth loving, but your stubborn scared heart won’t allow you to show it to that one person?
• In your existing relationship, you constantly tell yourself that you’re taking it one day at a time because your mentality is afraid of commitment

Well these are all understandable emotions, once a person has been emotionally hurt by someone they once loved, it makes it very difficult to express love like feelings towards another…

To paint a mental picture: you were hurt, now you are no longer depressed over the breakup and you’re ready to move on…after being single for a short time, you’ve found a person that compliments you in every way you can imagine, you honestly didn’t believe it was possible to find someone that you relate to as much as you do with this person. Things begin to get a bit serious, your emotions for each other are flowing like a never ending river, your feelings start to develop but then, it suddenly comes to a halt and you build a wall around your heart, you now start distancing yourself, you find yourself withdrawing from the one person that you can actually see yourself falling in love with. Why do you think this happens?

There are a number of reasons why a person may feel like being distant, from my personal experience, I thought I’d write about the different phases that we all tend to experience some time or another which leads or may be the cause of distancing yourself from someone:

 
• Letting Go…
  The strong emotional feelings you started to develop for a new person in your life may have triggered the way you once felt in the past, the love you had for another, the happiness you felt, the joy another brought into your life. With that being said, you will always remember that great past relationship which came to a bitter end, your differences surfaced, you both realized that you no longer wanted to build a future together and thought that it would be best to continue your lives separately…Now, holding on to the way your past relationship ended, is definitely not fair to yourself and it’s not fair to your future relationship(s). It’s time…time to release the past emotional connections in order to move forward.

• Learn to Accept…
  You now believe that if you allow yourself to indulge in happiness and to love a new person, you will someday be heartbroken again and being hurt is something that you will try avoid for as long as you possibly can. Take my advice, in order to once again find happiness within yourself, you must realize that being hurt is okay, it’s absolutely acceptable and it’s a part of life that you really can’t control!!!! If it was meant for a person to be heartbroken, trust me, it will happen in any way, shape or form, so trying to avoid being brokenhearted is going to be the result of you missing out on what could be some of the happiest moments in your life!!! So the sooner you can accept that there is a possibility of being hurt again, the sooner you can engage with another in sharing happiness and love. Accepting it doesn’t mean that it will happen, but being understanding to the fact that there is a chance it may happen is a great start of moving forward and facing your relationship fear. Allowing yourself to receive the love, joy and happiness another can provide for you is absolutely priceless. There are many in this world that wish dearly to have an opportunity to love like you have, so embrace it, don’t take it for granted, enjoy it, cherish it and run with it for all it’s worth!!!

• Have No Regrets…
  Have no regrets about being with anyone. If you have experienced a relationship that once made you happy but did eventually come  to a bitter end, well, have no regrets…learn and move on, why would anyone regret the past, if you weren’t with that person, then how would you have been able to enjoy the happy moments that person once brought into your life. So long story short, from this point forward, live your life with no regrets, each and every one of your action will have a result, it may be bad, it may be good, but you will not know until you try and you will not have any regrets as long as you have given some extra time to think before you act.

• Don’t Be Scared to Love again…
  Being scared of love is something that many can relate to if they have experienced a broken heart. But the stronger ones that move forward and love again, are the ones that allow themselves to experience true happiness all over again with another. Don’t let your past control your future, just because you had a bitter past doesn’t mean you can have a bitter future, think positive, be optimistic and apply the law of attraction. I believe that there is a path for each and every one of us to follow. There will always be obstacles thrown at us, but remember…it’s how we overcome those obstacles that matters the most.  Don’t be scared, being scared is only bringing more worries to your life and you may jeopardize a relationship with someone that is actually worth your while.

• Commitment…
  Commitment may exist without you even knowing it. If you are in a relationship but find yourself considering it as a “taking it one day at a time” relationship….well I have news for you, whether you would like to admit it or not, you have a commitment to another, its just your past encounters affecting your current situation and constantly making you second guess your emotions with your existing partner. You slowly develop a fear of admitting your  “commitment” to another. My advice on how to conquer this is to develop a mentality that will separate your past from your present and future. The need to understand that certain negative situations that may have occurred in your past, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bound to repeat itself in your present/future relationship(s). Nothing is forever, but you can only imagine that it is, commitments can be a risk, but it should be a risk worth taking if you care enough for another, if the benefits of this risk will make your heart smile, then personally I feel that it’s all worth it.

“Love Like You’ve Never Loved Before”

“Love Like You’ve Never Been Hurt”

By: Sharlene Le