1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, ‘I love you’, mean it.
5. When you say, ‘I’m sorry’, look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone’s dream. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don’t judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”.
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Say ‘bless you’ when you hear someone sneeze.
16. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson!
17. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
18. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
20. Smile when picking up the phone.. The caller will hear it in your voice.
21. Spend some time alone.

Having mutual respect in a relationship is a very easy task to master if the mutual trust is evident. Respect each other in every way possible when it comes to space; It doesn’t matter how long a couple has been together, giving each other space is the key to maintaining a healthy relationship; Without space, the feeling of invasion surfaces, which CAN eventually lead to stress. And when I suggest “space”, I don’t mean days or weeks, it just may be a few hours of doing something by your self or with your friends, or just time alone away from your partner; You don’t have to do everything together just because you are a couple, you can be in a relationship and still be independent to a certain extent.

Respect each other:

• Verbally - choose your words wisely, I don’t care what anyone says, my opinion is that words do HURT when it comes for someone you love and care for!
• Emotionally – show consideration of the feelings and emotions of your partner, be happy together, be supportive of each other, laugh together, cry together, disagree with each other or even agree to disagree; It doesn’t matter what the situation may be, all that matters is the way it is handled, hopefully you’re a big enough person to handle any situation in a mature manner.

Love

If you’re in love, congratulations on finding someone that has stolen your heart. There aren’t very many people out there that can say the same thing. Keeping the love alive is part of having a happy healthy relationship; Love will always need an effort to be made from both partners. It is just as easy to fall out of love, as it is to fall in love.

• Remind each other often why you fell in love
• Show how much you appreciate your lover by saying it or acting upon it
• Do things that help keep the chemistry alive
• Be intimate with each other, doing this at random moments is always a great way to feel that excitement and change your normal routine
• Greet each other each morning, and say “sweet dreams” at night
• Kiss each other as you part each day, and kiss each other when you reunite
• Do not go to bed mad at each other, life is too short to hold grudges!

Guidelines to a Happy Healthy Relationship (1 of 2)

Communication is a major factor in a healthy relationship. Be able to laugh with each other, smile for no reason and at times, even cry with each other. Make each other comfortable to the point where you’re able to discuss anything and everything with each other in confidence. Communication has saved a lot of relationships; being able to discuss your emotions, worries, stress-related issues, work, life issues…etc…with the one person that you know will always be there in your time of need, is an indescribable feeling.

Honesty

Being honest with each other is one factor that plays a positive role in a successful relationship. It’s a foundation for mutual trust, openness and understanding. It is difficult to be in a relationship with a person that withholds information that’s critical to that relationship. This may occur because of the forces that keep you from telling the truth because you fear what the other person may think or how they would feel, well if you let your fear control you, this may cause the trust your significant other has in you to weaken. If you are honest with yourself and in your relationship, it is definitely a trait that will strengthen your relationship. Always, Always Be Honest! Its great for the soul.

Mutual Trust

Mutual trust is something that is easy to give each other in the beginning of a relationship. It can also be easy to keep, but as soon as you make the decision to not be honest in your relationship, that’s when the trust starts to dissolve and any relationship can head for a dead end in a heartbeat. It is very hard to trust completely in someone, but when you do, it brings joy, comfort and warmth to your heart. The easiest way that I can suggest in keeping trust alive in your relationship is to constantly remind yourself that you are treating your significant other the way you want to be treated. If there is ever a moment where you feel that you can’t trust your significant other, this is when you open the lines of communication and be honest with each other, it can make or break your relationship.

Give/Receive/Compromise/Forgive

Learn how to give, receive, compromise and forgive. These are really not as difficult as you may think. Give whenever or wherever you see an opportunity; learn how to receive, if someone wants to give you something or do something special for you, learn how to say thank you and accept it; knowing how to compromise with each other is a trait that will only benefit your relationship increasing its strength; sometimes its easier said than done, but being able to forgive someone is the best thing you can do for that person at that particular time. Knowing how to communicate, trusting and being honest with each other will make forgiving each other easier to do. It’s not worth it to hold grudges, life is too short to go to bed mad at each other, don’t spend your time being angry over tedious things, it’s simply not worth it when you can be spending time laughing and creating great memories…Just forgive and move on…become a stronger couple and stronger individuals.

Guidelines to a Happy Healthy Relationship (2 of 2)

Approximately 3 years ago from today, my marriage came to an end; I am now a divorced single mother of a 4 yr old. Everything happens for a reason and I am happy as ever now than I was then; but it took some time for me to get to this point. I never knew what I was missing until my entire world caved in and I had to build it back up by myself from ground zero.

After my divorce, I slipped into a depression stage, what got me out of that was my son, I noticed that he started to sense and adapt to my depression (at the time he was only 1), that’s when I had to snap out of it, trust me its a lot easier said than done! After a few months went by, I realized that my ex-husband had truly killed my self-esteem, its not all his fault; I am at blame as well for allowing another human being to make me think and feel any less of myself. The following are some things that made me realize how low my self-esteem was:

• I didn’t feel beautiful inside and out
• I didn’t feel sexy at all
• I lost my confidence
• I became very insecure about my body/physical appearance
• I felt the need to seclude myself from social gatherings
• I was afraid of being judged negatively
• I felt that everything I did wasn’t good enough
• I had no friends
• I didn’t know what it felt like to be appreciated
• I didn’t know what it felt like to be complimented
• I didn’t believe that I would be good enough for anyone else
• I felt lonely
• I didn’t know how to accept others in my life
• I hated what I saw in the mirror

After I realized that I was in pretty bad shape emotionally, I gathered my inner strength and decided to get my life back, I didn’t have any friends that I could talk to or even hang out with. So this is what I did….

• I created a MySpace account (I know, lame huh, but it worked)
• I slowly reunited with old friends that I went to High School with
• I started to meet new people, which eventually turned into great online friends
• I noticed that I had people in my life now (not including family)
• I kept myself busy with my friends
• I began to focus on my son and myself
• I started to actually attend social gatherings
• I learned how to accept compliments from others
• I noticed that I began to smile a lot more
• I spent time with myself doing what I wanted to do
• I took a trip out of state and visited a family member
• I went to bed with a smile
• I woke up with a smile
• I began to notice what I had in my life rather than what I didn’t have
• I bought new things that made my son and myself happy
• I started to write anything that came to my mind whether it was happy or sad thoughts
• I learned how to block out the negative thoughts and focus on the positive
• I am today a much more optimistic person than I was then
• I learned how to accept another person wanting to do something nice for me

I know these probably seem like really tedious things to do and you may not believe that this will work because it’s a lot easier said than done, but believe me, this is what worked for me. Everyone is different and I understand if you can’t relate or see my perspective, but if you feel that you do have low-self esteem, my advice is to at least try it, what have you got to lose, right?

First off let me say, you can’t get anyone to do anything they do not want to do, but what you can do to make her voluntarily give you a blowjob is to be considerate of what you’re putting in her mouth.

• Keep it clean, wash it before you hit the sheets, it doesn’t have to smell like roses but we don’t want to smell pee and sweat.
• If you want her to enjoy it, show her that you’re enjoying it, show her how appreciative you are, return the favor. Remember, if you take care of her, she will take care of you.
• If she doesn’t seem to know what she’s doing, guide her, let her know softly what feels good rather than what doesn’t feel good, you don’t want to discourage her and make her feel as if she doesn’t know what she’s doing; She’s already down there so be gentle with her.
• The most comfortable position while giving head is for you to lie on your back while she kneels over your penis.
• Some women may have been scared in the past with the smell or the taste and that is a difficult thing to forget. Be considerate; Try snacking on foods that will make your semen taste sweeter, like plums, cranberries, or blueberries. To neutralize the taste of your semen, try eating kiwi, watermelon, pineapple, or even celery.

How to achieve a Clitoral orgasm?

• Have the right mindset; Clear your mind; Set the mood to get yourself in the mood. Be romantic with your partner, cuddle with him as he caresses you, keep in mind that you are more likely to be turned on if the atmosphere is right =)
• You are able do achieve this by yourself or you can have your partner help by stimulating your clitoris; some women prefer to rotate around their clit in a circular motion, while other women prefer a side-to-side or up and down motion. Another technique is rolling the clitoris with the thumb and pointer finger. This should be done gently.
• Communication is always a good key to sex, be sure and let your partner know what feels good and don’t hesitate to let him know what your favorite motions are while he’s down there.
• Clit stimulation is a great start to achieve a Vaginal or G-Spot orgasm, change in color or swelling is an indication that you are aroused (Tip for men)
• Once the sexual excitement has become so intense, a clitoral orgasm is most likely what you will feel next, it feels as if a surge of waves filled with pleasure rushes throughout your entire body!

Note – After an orgasm the clit can retract, it becomes highly sensitive to any further stimulation, often to the point of being painful.

If there are any questions that you may have and would like an opinion or advice on, please don’t hesitate to ask and I’ll add it to the list above =)

Have you ever had the feeling that you fell off the path you were once on because of another? If this has happened to you, understand that it’s not your fault and this does happen unintentionally to many people, hence the saying “Love is Blind”….

You’ve allowed this person into every part of your life, it was something that just happened, at that time you had no control over your emotions, you went with the flow and it turned into love <3 that immediately resulted in a break-up. You felt nothing but confusion, anger, betrayal, cheated on, lied to, you felt like the dirt he/she walked on, you felt as if you didn’t matter, all that moments you shared in past didn’t matter, your world came to a halt, you started to feel resentment and hatred started to surface. Now at the time, you couldn’t control the way you felt, all of these emotions most likely don’t apply to this person’s character, but the responses and interactions you’ve had since the breakup is what brought these feelings out. These are all feelings that you try your best not reveal towards others because honestly you know the truth, and the truth is that you’re allowing your anger to take control.

Not only were you pushed off your path but also your entire personality may have started to change. I would suggest grabbing a notepad and begin to list of all your emotions. At times, writing is a great therapy to heal the mind, heart and soul. Sometimes you’re so overwhelmed mentally, writing it all down helps you clear some mental space. Reading what you have written at times will also help you realize what you may be doing wrong and shed some light on your path. At times, we all face difficult relationship obstacles, these are some emotions that you may have experienced or felt internally at the time:

• Assurance was given that he/she wanted a relationship
• He/she swept you off your feet
• You allowed him/her into every part of my life
• You gave your 100% trust
• You invested time
• He/she has turned into a cold-hearted person that you no longer know
• You felt that emotional connection then and still feel it now
• He/she wasn’t honest and upfront about emotions 100% of the time
• At times you felt as if you were taken for granted
• You start feeling resentment towards him/her
• He/she says you have every quality that a person looks for
• You fell for someone that has the heart to treat another human being this way
• You become indecisive about everything
• You’re broken-hearted
• He/she has feelings for you but chose to ignore it
• You’ve been fighting for something that was never yours
• You cried for someone that you don’t even know anymore
• You put yourself through this for someone that doesn’t deserve your tears
• You blame yourself for everything that went wrong…when in reality it takes 2

Emotionally this person has made you so angry inside that you had to seclude yourself from the world, don’t get me wrong, friends are there whenever you need an ear or a shoulder, but at times, you just weren’t ready to be socializing and meeting new friends. Build up that strength, go out with your friends, dance, socialize and have a good time. At the end of the night, you may find yourself thinking less and less of the person that broke your heart in the first place. Sometimes being with friends is the best therapy, but you have to be emotionally ready to drag yourself into the eyes of the public. There are other fishes in the sea and some of them deserve your love, attention, all that you have to give and the joy that you can bring into their life. On another note, you deserve someone that will accept you just the way you are, enjoy your company, respect your feelings towards trust, loyalty and honestly.

I’m a firm believer of Karma; I treat others the way I want to be treated. I usually give everyone the benefit of the doubt and maybe that’s my flaw…the fact that I trust in others a lot….I trust that they won’t hurt me, I trust that whatever they say to me is true and I never for a split second believe that they would ever deceive.

Things aren’t always the way it seems, people change, sometimes they change for the better and sometimes they change for the worse, but everyone is in control of their choices. I have made the choice to get back on that right path, forgive him for all that he put me through, forgive myself for all that I’ve put myself through and move on with my life. In short, no man is worth a woman’s tears…

I have always and will forever love this song:
Alicia Keys “A Woman’s Worth”

“If you treat me fairly, I’ll give you my goods…Treat you like a real woman should. Baby, I know you’re worth it. If you never play me, promise not to bluff. I’ll hold you down when it gets rough cause baby, I know you’re worth it”

“She rolls the mile; makes you smile, all the while being true; Don’t take for granted the passions that she has for you; you will lose, if you choose, to refuse to put her first; She will if she can find a man who knows her worth!”

Often couples tend to allow their lives to fall into a routine, your day to day life becomes a schedule. Have you ever noticed that each day you’re performing the same task approximately around the same time? Understand that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but it does become a problem when your love life adapts to your day-to-day schedule and it seems as if it’s the same sex routine each and every time you’re intimate with your partner. That’s when you should make an effort to bring lust back into your life, teasing each other, making each other desirable and excited all over again. Keep in mind that the little things that can be done is what matters the most, such as giving roses, writing love letters or even sending sweet email messages. Try different positions, have make up sex, comfort sex, fantasy sex…the whole concept is to do things that are out of the ordinary for you and your partner.

Date Night

One thing that every person should always do for his or her significant other is to randomly plan an evening in, have a date! Cook dinner, order in, or even rent a movie, set the table and don’t forget the candles, serve wine, make sure and add candles in the bedroom and dim the lights as well. Once your partner is in your company, have dinner together, don’t discuss work, money or the children (if any), just have a conversation on how much you appreciate each other, get to know a little more about your partner even though you may have been with each other for a while. Maybe ask him/her to share on a personal thought, in your most seductive voice, say something like “I would like to know one of your fantasies”…or something in that ballpark. After dinner, don’t worry about the dishes, you can if you choose to but I wouldn’t want to lose the attention of your partner or have the mood change, take your partner to the room of your choice, have the massage oil ready, give each other sensual massages, don’t forget to give kisses on each others body while massaging each other. This will lead to intense teasing, foreplay and love making that will evolve into hot dirty rough sex, and you can never go wrong with rough sex! Having date night will bring back the lust and the love you have for each other, you’ll both find it to be very invigorating and you’ll find yourself feeling alive and loved all over again.

Lingerie

Now every female out there owns some type of lingerie, if you don’t, I suggest going out and buying some. Wearing it for your significant other always sets the mood. My suggestion is to try and wear something that’s a bit more seductive than your typical conservative lingerie, drive him crazy, make him want to put his hands on you the instant his eyes notices you. You may consider wearing a peek-a-boo bra or a corset, with thongs or a g-string, garter belt, thigh highs and your favorite pair of stilettos. The whole point is to spice it up, meaning that you will want to do something that’s a bit out of the ordinary for you and him. If wearing those will be out of your comfort zone (you do want to feel comfortable because it will make you more confident), then try wearing a sheer baby doll with thongs, G-String or cheekies, that’s always a more conservative sexy look.  Some of you may not believe that you have the “model figure” and that lingerie just isn’t for you, well I say you are wrong, Lingerie is made for all sizes. What looks great on one person may not look great on you because we all come in different shapes and sizes. Your job is to find the pieces that compliment your figure, ask for help or ask opinions from the sales assistants. Trust me, he will be surprised!

Toys

Introduce toys into your sex life, most women single or married do own at least one toy. Why not bring it out when you’re with him? He may be against it at first, but you can always make him feel comfortable around it, have him watch you while you use it on yourself, have him use it on you, and in time, he may feel comfortable enough to allow you to use it on him, not necessarily in him but on him, believe it or not but some men enjoy the vibration on their testicles =) If you do not own a sexual toy, there are all sorts of toys you can purchase, it will be fun if you discuss it with your significant other and then take a trip to a sex store, this way you both can agree on one and you both will be excited impatient to use it. If he’s not willing to go along then don’t be afraid, go by yourself, surprise him, spend the time and pick one that you may enjoy on your own as well as with him, and don’t be afraid to ask the store clerk for assistance, they work there and they are very knowledgeable on the products they sell.

Blindfold

Another fun thing either one of you can do is to blindfold the other. Doing this in the heat of the moment will enhance the desire to want one another even more. This can be done while one is sitting on a chair or even lying on the bed; it’s your preference. If the male was to be blindfolded, the female can tease him by touching his entire body ever so gently, kissing is neck, rubbing her hands on his head, kissing his chest, twirling her tongue around his nipples, slowly moving south while kissing his stomach, and the rest I will leave up to your imagination or she can even give him a seductive lap dance, what man won’t appreciate that!!!. If the female was to be blindfolded, the male can drive her insane by first massaging her body with his manly hands, caressing her body as if she’s a delicate flower, kissing the side or the back of her neck, kissing her breast and in between her breast, gliding your hands slowly on her sides moving to her hips, her thighs, her inner thighs…this is sure to get her hot and steamy =) I could go into greater details, but I will leave it all up to you to take it from there. The fun in using a blindfold brings mystery into your bed, you really won’t know what to expect and you yourself will be using your imagination as your partner teases you making you want more…more…more!

Love Notes

Love notes are always a safe way to spice up your love life. At night before you go to bed or early in the morning before you leave for work, slip a note into his wallet or her purse that lets him/her know how much you’ll miss them and how much you’re thinking of them. This places an image of yourself on your partners mind all day long and keeps them smiling, doing this will result in your partner yearning to see you at the end of the day. If you’d prefer to take it a step further and tickle the imagination of your partner then do this…on your love note, maybe you should write something naughty, maybe indicate something that you can’t wait to do to him/her the next time you see each other, maybe write something like “I can’t wait till I get my hands on you, I will _____” or “The next time I see you, I want you wearing nothing but a_____” or “My tongue misses you and can’t wait to _____ your _____ again” This always builds excitement, be creative, use your imagination, it’s a foolproof plan on how your evening may end=)

Role-Play

Role-playing can be so exciting, it can bring out the fantasy that lies between you both. You can wear what ever you like based on the character that turns you on. For instance, the female can play the role of a maid, or a lonely housewife, she can wear nothing but an apron, the male can wear maybe absolutely nothing at all =)…use your imagination in being naughty with each other. He can play the dominating role that tells his partner what to do and how to do it, and being the maid, she will have to obey and so on… Maybe you can even flip the script to where the female is in the dominating role, women love to be in control sometimes, but there are times when we love to have a man control us in the bedroom, we like a man that can take charge and knows what he’s doing. This is an exciting tip, this is where all the fun times can begin, all the maids, housewives, cheerleaders, little naughty school girl, fireman, cop…etc all get to come out and play!!!

Location

Who says that sex has to remain in the bedroom? Spicing things up also means adding spontaneity to your relationship. Change your location, have your crazy rough wild sex or love making in the kitchen, the living room, your car, the floor, move from the bed to the floor, move from one room to another…etc….have it anywhere you want to, just be sure to not break the law when you’re having your “I hope we don’t get caught” sex =) If either one of you notices that the other is doing a chore around the house, sneak up behind him/her and lay on your seduction act. For instance, If she’s washing dishes, let it be unexpected, grab her, pick her up, put her on the kitchen counter, hold her closely, kiss her neck, make her moan without even removing her clothes. Another idea can be to do something random, instead of having date night at your home, reserve a hotel room; just be spontaneous about the entire thing. Trust me its more fun this way, being able to do what ever comes to your mind is always pleasurable, being able to share that with your partner is most definitely an indescribable feeling.

1. Confidence

The female body is one thing that turns a man on, it really doesn’t matter the size or shape, as long as a woman is comfortable with her body, it shows. The way a woman dresses, the way she carries her self can show how secure and confident she is with her physical appearance.

2. Independency

A man is very attracted to a woman that is independent, someone who doesn’t need a man but just simply wants a man. A woman that can pay her bills, take care of her kid(s), if any, hold down a decent job, able to focus on herself, focus on her priorities in life and still manage to have time for her man. Men love women that can make their own decisions, it really is a turn off when a woman does or says certain things that cater to what she believes he would prefer rather than what she preferred. Men prefer a woman that is in control of her own mind, it’s what makes her attractive and stand out from the rest, a woman that can make her own decisions and doesn’t need to depend on a man to decide for her.

3. Nurturing

Men love to be nurtured by their significant other! It makes them feel secure; most men believe it or not, are insecure. In this world that we live in, it is socially unacceptable for a man to cry out for nurturing support and emotional encouragement, where as a woman receives it at any given time when she needs it. When a man does ask for this type of nurturing, it is considered to be “Unmanly”, and for this reason is why most men will not ask for this attention publicly but rather from an established relationship in a more private setting. It’s much easier for a man to feel secure when his significant other can provide the much needed nurturing. The fact that a woman can nurture her man when needed is a major plus in his book.

4. Honesty & Loyalty

Honesty and loyalty is something that is difficult to find in any man or woman, so my advice is when you do find this in someone, hold on to it as long as you can. Nothing brings a man closer to a woman than her honesty and loyalty. These two qualities build TRUST, and without trust you have nothing. Men are drawn to women that can be honest in every aspect of their life, someone that can be honest to herself and to her significant other. A loyal woman is a woman that knows what she wants and knows what she has when she has it and won’t do anything to jeopardize losing it. Honest and loyal women treat their men with the utmost respect and appreciation for who they really are, these are women that are worth holding on to, these are the type of women that men are attracted to and these qualities are what turns a man on even more.

5. Personality

Every man loves a woman with a personality, what turns them on is a woman that can hold down a conversation, have a sense of humor, isn’t uptight about everything. Men are attracted to women that can keep the laughter going, can be introduce to his friends and family and fit right in, gets along with others. Men love a woman that can show her personality through her smile, is spontaneous, is an easy going down to earth type of woman, can adapt to any given situation and can be different or unique from the others instead of trying to be like the others. I could keep going, but you get the point, these are just some of the basics that make up the type of personality that I believe men are attracted to.

6. Inner Strength

Inner strength is something that not every woman can maintain. At times we do tend to drop the ball and show our weaknesses, but note to self, men do not like to see a weak woman. Men appreciate a good woman that can display inner strength in everything that she does, whether it’s her job, raising her child or children, school, taking care of her family or even being the strength in a relationship (but to a certain extent, you don’t want to cross the line between having strength and being controlling towards your man). When a man notices a woman with inner strength, he also notices her confidence, part of her personality and her independency, which, as listed above is a turn on to men that’s in a comfortable mature state of mind.

7. Sex

Sex is very important, anyone can have sex, but to really turn a man on you have to know what you’re doing. It really doesn’t take a lot to please a man in the bedroom, but as easy as that sounds you do need to know how to actually perform those simple tasks. Men love it when a woman can keep it interesting, there is just so much more tools available for women to spice things up. Men do like women that can actually participate in this action, they dislike the feeling of having sex/making love to a corpse; You have to be willing to try different positions, be as active as he is, if you are not sure what he likes, then ask him, it’s better to ask than to assume =) Touching each other ever so gently, running your hands through his hair, on his back, his chest, kissing him anywhere and everywhere, your intimate whispers, moans…etc…these are all things that can get a man going in a split second. Another thing that just drives men crazy is “dressing up”…there is nothing sexier than a woman in lingerie, it will drive him insane, heighten the adrenaline and will make him want you in the most sensual pleasurable way. I believe that foreplay is such an important part of sex, its displays the affection that you both have for each other, its just the concept of pleasing each other and knowing what the other likes and actually acting upon it. I could go into more details but I feel that what I’ve expressed here are the basics on what turns men on in the bedroom.

So there you have it, these are the seven things that can turn a man on, granted there might be lots more, but again, this is from a general perspective, comment if you’d like to share your thoughts and or even suggest additional things that may turn a man on <3

I was on the wrong path mentally, I reacted incorrectly; I failed to realize that he just needed a little time to sort through his issues before he can focus on giving me the attention that I deserve. I constantly expected him to think and act like a woman normally would in a situation like this by being analytical. He’s going through a difficult time in his life right now, things were great between us, we were actually so compatible in every way and our relationship was absolutely wonderful. I made him happy as much as a person can make another happy, but what he was missing was his inner happiness, he needed to feel happy with himself in order to be fully happy with me. I completely understood this, I’ve been in his shoes before and that’s why I believe I should have been mentally prepared and mature enough to react differently, I should have understood a bit more. I know this now and wish that I knew it then. It really is easier said than done, once a person is in a situation like this, you tend to drift away from the main focus and your mind starts to wonder negatively instead of focusing on the positive facts, which is comprehending that he just needed A LITTLE SPACE.

When a man feels that he needs space and he assures you that he still cares for you deeply, it only means that he’s frustrated and really doesn’t know how to handle it. I’ll try my best to explain….At times his mind will get so foggy that he can’t see or think clearly, in other words, the path he was once on is no longer visible, there may be a ton of issues that’s on his mind including his relationship with you. His way of solving his issues is to first begin with the present, which is his significant other. He will ask for space, (understand that he’s not shutting the door on your relationship, he’s just merely pushing it in a bit with hopes of returning), at this time he will utilize his time alone to prioritize and sort through what’s badgering him, it may take a couple weeks, a month or more…regardless, if you feel that he is someone worth waiting for, then all you need to do is be confident, trust and have patience. Once he’s able to start solving his problems, the fog slowly starts to disappear which now makes the path he was once on VISIBLE again. This is when he will attempt to follow the path back to where he left off in hopes of you still being there. Asking for space is a risk that he is taking, it’s a risk of losing his significant other, but if you both had a strong relationship and you knew that you fulfilled each other in ways that no one else could, then there is a high possibility that his significant other will be waiting for him.

I’m sure that everyone can agree with me when I say that men and women are so different when it comes to our mentalities. Women are more open with their emotions, we are more sensitive, we love to talk things out when there is a problem, cry easily and we tend to need reassurance at times. Men you really can’t be upset at this, it’s just in our nature to be so concerned and believe that every thing can be resolved with our help. Some problems are better solved when left along, but this is something that we are still learning how to master. Men on the other hand are more reserved with their feelings, it’s never up for discussion, being pressured to talk does nothing but push them away and even if they are heart broken, they keep it to themselves. Men cope with emotions differently, men will probably say things to their significant other that may be hurtful, when in reality they don’t intentionally mean to hurt you, they do this in hopes that it will be the end of the conversation at that very moment, deep down they are probably hurting inside just as much as you are, but they just don’t know how to let that feeling out especially when they feel pressured. I truly wish men understood how much better things can be if they would just let us know how they truly feel =)

Things that women should do when their man says that he needs space:

• Be willing to trust in him and respect his wishes
• Show him that you are mature enough to accept this temporary change
• Don’t pressure him to talk too much about it
• Understand that he will discuss it when he’s ready
• Don’t badger him, let him call you if he wants to talk
• Let him miss you; don’t panic, he will start thinking about the good times and will miss you
• Let him be the one to realize on his own how happy he was with you
• Know that he will remember the wonderful person you are; he won’t forget you overnight
• Support him; be there for him when he calls on you for emotional support
• Don’t give up hope, he’ll be back if he truly cherished your relationship
• Be confident that he will find his path back to you
• Always smile if there is any type of communication; smiles can be contagious
• Most important, let him know that you are leaving the door open for him

With this new found knowledge on men, I would have done a lot differently over the past few months. I would have definitely backed off completely and respected his wish of wanting space. I wouldn’t have taken it so personal by assuming it was me, I would have provided more support to him rather than adding more stress to his life by constantly wanting to talk things out. I was so determined to figure out what went wrong, I’ve concluded that this was an obstacles that was out of my control. There wasn’t anything I could have said to change things; all I could have done was give him his space. If I can say one more thing to him, I would tell him that I’m sorry, I’m sorry for not understanding as much as I should have and I mean this from the bottom of my heart.

I hope from my experience, other relationships can become more successful!!!!