You didn’t just love me you showed it to me
You would have done anything for me
You accepted me for the person I am
You appreciated me and confided in me
You gave me your heart and all that you had
You made me smile, laugh and cry

You tell me you want to be free
You hit my heart with a rock and sunk it to the bottom of the sea
You can’t fight this evil feeling that took over your soul
You’re so confused and lost in this world
You won’t let me help you find your way
Now, losing you is the price…..I’ll…..pay
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My thoughts tend to get pretty deep when I do think about anything and everything. At times I find myself thinking about death, growing up and experiencing so much in my teenage years I’ve always been afraid of death, I’ve tried my best to block it out of my mind, and I’ve done a great job at that until now. At this time in my life, my mental state has matured a lot over the last decade, times have changed, things have changed, people have changed, my roles and responsibilities have changed. My mind tends to work overtime a lot, I wonder if I’ll be missed or even if I’ll be easily replaced? I tend to live life by a quote as if it was tattooed on my brain…”Treat others the way you want to be treated”. I appreciate the value of life much more now than I did a decade ago, especially when it comes to Love, Happiness, Health, Family and Friends.

With that being said, Death has popped into my mind a few times, instead of trying to avoid the thought, I’m now somehow planning and preparing my life for it….I wonder if I’ll be missed? What will I be remembered for? Have you ever thought about that? When my time comes, I wonder…how will it happen, what’s going to happen to my house, my son, my family, everything and everyone that I leave behind? I hope I’m right when I say this, but I can only anticipate that my friends and family will remember me as:
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I have found myself being guilty of procrastinating my happiness. For instance, several different times throughout my life, I found that I’ve actually said to myself the following:

“Once I get this new job, I’ll be happy”
“Once my divorce is finalized, …”
“Once I purchase a new car, …”
“Once I move into this new house, …”
“Once I’m in a loving relationship, …”
“Once I lose 10 lbs, …”

Well I’ve come to realize that after all those obstacles have been accomplished, I was still unhappy. I failed to comprehend that those materialistic items and accomplishments is not what my inner happiness needed; all that was needed…was for me to reach deep within, realize, and accept that I had everything needed to be happy, such as:

• Having a family
• Friends
• A home
• A job
• Food
• Clothes
• Health

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Music is something that we all depend on to help us all feel a certain way at any given time throughout our days. Music can make a person, it soothes the soul, it awakes your spirit and sets your mood at any given time. I am pretty sure that you all can relate when I say that there’s nothing better to make a person feel better about himself or herself or any situation than relaxing with your favorite tunes in the background.

Music can be anyone’s best friend; IT CAN…

• Relax your mind, body and soul
• Get you through the difficult moments that life offers
• Music can guide you onto your desired path
• Cause you to laugh, cry and smile for absolutely no reason
• Helps you reminisce about moments in your past, whether it’s positive or negative
• Provide the energy/boost you may need when your spirit is down
• Relieve your day-to-day stress
• Help you reach deep within and find the inner strength that you need

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1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
4. When you say, ‘I love you’, mean it.
5. When you say, ‘I’m sorry’, look the person in the eye.
6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
7. Believe in love at first sight.
8. Never laugh at anyone’s dream. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.
9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
11. Don’t judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”.
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Say ‘bless you’ when you hear someone sneeze.
16. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson!
17. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
18. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
20. Smile when picking up the phone.. The caller will hear it in your voice.
21. Spend some time alone.

Respect

Having mutual respect in a relationship is a very easy task to master if the mutual trust is evident. Respect each other in every way possible when it comes to space; It doesn’t matter how long a couple has been together, giving each other space is the key to maintaining a healthy relationship; Without space, the feeling of invasion surfaces, which CAN eventually lead to stress. And when I suggest “space”, I don’t mean days or weeks, it just may be a few hours of doing something by your self or with your friends, or just time alone away from your partner; You don’t have to do everything together just because you are a couple, you can be in a relationship and still be independent to a certain extent.

Respect each other:

• Verbally - choose your words wisely, I don’t care what anyone says, my opinion is that words do HURT when it comes for someone you love and care for!
• Emotionally – show consideration of the feelings and emotions of your partner, be happy together, be supportive of each other, laugh together, cry together, disagree with each other or even agree to disagree; It doesn’t matter what the situation may be, all that matters is the way it is handled, hopefully you’re a big enough person to handle any situation in a mature manner.

Love

If you’re in love, congratulations on finding someone that has stolen your heart. There aren’t very many people out there that can say the same thing. Keeping the love alive is part of having a happy healthy relationship; Love will always need an effort to be made from both partners. It is just as easy to fall out of love, as it is to fall in love.

• Remind each other often why you fell in love
• Show how much you appreciate your lover by saying it or acting upon it
• Do things that help keep the chemistry alive
• Be intimate with each other, doing this at random moments is always a great way to feel that excitement and change your normal routine
• Greet each other each morning, and say “sweet dreams” at night
• Kiss each other as you part each day, and kiss each other when you reunite
• Do not go to bed mad at each other, life is too short to hold grudges!

Guidelines to a Happy Healthy Relationship (1 of 2)

Communication

Communication is a major factor in a healthy relationship. Be able to laugh with each other, smile for no reason and at times, even cry with each other. Make each other comfortable to the point where you’re able to discuss anything and everything with each other in confidence. Communication has saved a lot of relationships; being able to discuss your emotions, worries, stress-related issues, work, life issues…etc…with the one person that you know will always be there in your time of need, is an indescribable feeling.

Honesty

Being honest with each other is one factor that plays a positive role in a successful relationship. It’s a foundation for mutual trust, openness and understanding. It is difficult to be in a relationship with a person that withholds information that’s critical to that relationship. This may occur because of the forces that keep you from telling the truth because you fear what the other person may think or how they would feel, well if you let your fear control you, this may cause the trust your significant other has in you to weaken. If you are honest with yourself and in your relationship, it is definitely a trait that will strengthen your relationship. Always, Always Be Honest! Its great for the soul.

Mutual Trust

Mutual trust is something that is easy to give each other in the beginning of a relationship. It can also be easy to keep, but as soon as you make the decision to not be honest in your relationship, that’s when the trust starts to dissolve and any relationship can head for a dead end in a heartbeat. It is very hard to trust completely in someone, but when you do, it brings joy, comfort and warmth to your heart. The easiest way that I can suggest in keeping trust alive in your relationship is to constantly remind yourself that you are treating your significant other the way you want to be treated. If there is ever a moment where you feel that you can’t trust your significant other, this is when you open the lines of communication and be honest with each other, it can make or break your relationship.

Give/Receive/Compromise/Forgive

Learn how to give, receive, compromise and forgive. These are really not as difficult as you may think. Give whenever or wherever you see an opportunity; learn how to receive, if someone wants to give you something or do something special for you, learn how to say thank you and accept it; knowing how to compromise with each other is a trait that will only benefit your relationship increasing its strength; sometimes its easier said than done, but being able to forgive someone is the best thing you can do for that person at that particular time. Knowing how to communicate, trusting and being honest with each other will make forgiving each other easier to do. It’s not worth it to hold grudges, life is too short to go to bed mad at each other, don’t spend your time being angry over tedious things, it’s simply not worth it when you can be spending time laughing and creating great memories…Just forgive and move on…become a stronger couple and stronger individuals.

Guidelines to a Happy Healthy Relationship (2 of 2)

This article is going to focus on the Low Self-Esteem I once faced in my life that was brought on by another. I will let you in on the obstacles I faced and offer my suggestions on how you can raise your self-esteem. You may be able to relate or not, but understand that my focus here is the low self-esteem that was caused from another person and myself.

Approximately 3 years ago from today, my marriage came to an end; I am now a divorced single mother of a 4 yr old. Everything happens for a reason and I am happy as ever now than I was then; but it took some time for me to get to this point. I never knew what I was missing until my entire world caved in and I had to build it back up by myself from ground zero.

After my divorce, I slipped into a depression stage, what got me out of that was my son, I noticed that he started to sense and adapt to my depression (at the time he was only 1), that’s when I had to snap out of it, trust me its a lot easier said than done! After a few months went by, I realized that my ex-husband had truly killed my self-esteem, its not all his fault; I am at blame as well for allowing another human being to make me think and feel any less of myself. The following are some things that made me realize how low my self-esteem was:

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1. Why do men/women engage in or play relationship games with each other?
2. What do men/women really want from a relationship?
3. Why are men/women scared to fall in love?
4. What causes insecurity in a relationship?
5. How can you prove to your significant other that you can be trusted?
6. From your perspective, what does a happy healthy relationship consist of?
7. What makes your relationship great?
8. Why is your significant other your Mr. or Mrs. perfect?
9. How many times have you truly been in love?
10. What is it about the female body that attracts men?
11. What trait(s) from the opposite sex is a turn on for you?
12. Why do men/women cheat?
13. Why is it that men/women sometimes want what they can’t have, and then as soon as they get it, they act like they don’t want it anymore?
14. Is it greener on the other side? (I personally don’t believe so)
15. Why hold grudges with each other? Why add fuel to the fire when later on you realize that in the end, it all wasn’t worth it!

If there are any questions that you may have and would like an opinion or advice on, please don’t hesitate to ask and I’ll add it to the list above =)

After every relationship comes to an end, at times, both individuals may find the need to build up self-confidence, filter out all negative emotions, realize that it isn’t the end of the world and that life does go on after a break-up. To regain all that you feel that you’ve lost is not an easy task. The first thing is to realize that you may have lost a love, but you have gained experience and learned relationship lessons. Don’t forget about all that you already have in your life. You may be blinded and fail to realize all the positive things because your heart is focused on the hurtful break-up and the feeling of no longer being “one” with another.

Have you ever had the feeling that you fell off the path you were once on because of another? If this has happened to you, understand that it’s not your fault and this does happen unintentionally to many people, hence the saying “Love is Blind”….

You’ve allowed this person into every part of your life, it was something that just happened, at that time you had no control over your emotions, you went with the flow and it turned into love <3 that immediately resulted in a break-up. You felt nothing but confusion, anger, betrayal, cheated on, lied to, you felt like the dirt he/she walked on, you felt as if you didn’t matter, all that moments you shared in past didn’t matter, your world came to a halt, you started to feel resentment and hatred started to surface. Now at the time, you couldn’t control the way you felt, all of these emotions most likely don’t apply to this person’s character, but the responses and interactions you’ve had since the breakup is what brought these feelings out. These are all feelings that you try your best not reveal towards others because honestly you know the truth, and the truth is that you’re allowing your anger to take control.

Not only were you pushed off your path but also your entire personality may have started to change. I would suggest grabbing a notepad and begin to list of all your emotions. At times, writing is a great therapy to heal the mind, heart and soul. Sometimes you’re so overwhelmed mentally, writing it all down helps you clear some mental space. Reading what you have written at times will also help you realize what you may be doing wrong and shed some light on your path. At times, we all face difficult relationship obstacles, these are some emotions that you may have experienced or felt internally at the time:

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