How do you say good bye to someone you love? It’s very easy to say goodbye to people that you have no attachment or bond with, but what about the ones that you have built a close and strong bond with?
People come into our lives each and every day, some stay, some you allow to stay, some will leave, some you will choose to let go, some you develop a long term relationship with, some you build a strong unbreakable bond with….but what happens when the time comes where you have to say goodbye or farewell to a loved one? How do you do it?
Well from personal experience, I’ve had to say good bye to lot’s of people that have passed through my life, some was intentional and some was by force. I recently had to say good bye by force and it was to someone that I considered my best friend, my lover, my motivator, my support, my everything. This has been by far the most difficult thing I’ve had to do since my divorce which had caused me to hit rock bottom and lose every single thing I had that was precious to me. Well saying good bye now to this person feels a lot like that but 10 times worse. There isn’t any true words that exist that can describe what I’ve been feeling over the last few weeks. But I’ll try to explain how I’m coping with it.
I have had lots of nights of just crying myself to sleep, lost focus on my business, lost focus on my work, I felt like a hollow shell that had to keep a forced smile on my face, my body went into depression, I wanted to eat but my body rejected the food, I was numb, had absolutely no feelings, kept having anxiety attacks and literally felt the pain throughout my heart, took care of my son but didn’t have the love and joy in the activities we did like I normally did, It was as if I was here physically but not mentally. I was always zoned out and felt terrible for my son, he doesn’t know or understand fully yet because I hid it well, but part of my emotions was all for my son, knowing the fact that he also lost someone, he grew attached to this person as well, now he won’t ever be able to see this person again and he just doesn’t know that yet.
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